My mom plays like eleventy thousand Facebook games. And they’re the worst News Feed clogs in the history of man. Here’s how you can block them, for the most part… Keep in mind that some of them are bastards and have random photos that pop up on their pages (you know, you don’t have to allow EVERYTHING when you okay an API), and blocking them is the only way around it for the people who don’t even click to the damn games…

First of all.. you have to figure out who’s bothering you so much that you just can’t stand the spam. I LOVE my mom, but she pretty much loves her Facebook games more than me sometimes. And her coins. She has reminder alarms set in her phone. Seriously.*

Find the culprit, and click on the damn game. Don’t click through to “Play Game” or whatever stupid purple/blue button Facebook waves in front of your face to tempt you. You’re going to have to look at the lower righthand corner of this popup box. You will be a lot less¬†disappointed. PS these games don’t actually grant you real CA$H MONEY.. they’re just a time suck. It’s like “Click” (that shitty Adam Sandler movie), without the clicker. If you want your brain sucked out by a game, why not just go to Dave & Busters and pop a cap in some zombie ass with friends and family? Then you’re at least training for a real-world use.. and kind of hanging out with friends and fam (while beating their lame zombie-beaten asses).

Sooo, click “View in App Center…” (oh here’s a graphic):

Screen Shot 2013-04-12 at 7.37.16 PMThanks, mom for that example.

From here out, it’s pretty easy. OMFG look at all the pretty COLORS! And pandas are my FAVORITE!!!

(god damnit what happens when they come up with “Sloth Jam?”… patent pending)

Screen Shot 2013-04-12 at 7.37.37 PM

God help you if you click through. If you do, I cannot. Neither can she/he. Just click “Block!”

Screen Shot 2013-04-12 at 7.52.17 PM

Oh. My. Gosh. Then you NEVER HAVE TO SEE IT AGAIN!!! Except for those godforsaken photo images they decide to throw on your wall because you click “okay you can do whatever” every TIME some app API’s you. I’ll have to write another post just for that purpose. Soon. For now, just thank me…

If you reload the page.. this is what it looks like…

Screen Shot 2013-04-12 at 7.54.08 PM

How f*cking thumbs-up is that??

<3 you, mom!!!

(but I don’t want to see your crazy game crap on my feed…)

*there may be a couple of small exaggerations in this story, but I still love you, Mom!!!